Hoffmann Homestead

Last week was a big week!

On Friday 2/23, I finally left my career to be a stay-at-home mom and full-time homesteader. I won’t lie, I’m still a little shook up about it because this happened 4 full weeks early, but I know this is what God wanted us to do. A full-on leap of faith even if it wasn’t planned out.

Nine months ago, my husband and I sat down for a long conversation and when we were done, we’d agreed that the best course of action for our family and for my husband’s career (starting a plumbing apprenticeship), would be for me to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom.

Before you freak out, this wasn’t my husband pressuring me into anything. This was a joint decision and frankly, I was the one to bring it up. I was so overwhelmed trying to take care of the house and the kids AND the homesteading chores because he was working crazy hours as a blue-collar man does. I was exhausted and had to make a physical list of all the things I did in a week and how long they took me. Then I had to pick something. I had to decide what could go so I could make room for some peace.

I made the list. Board meetings, homeschooling, canning, gardening, cleaning the house, cooking, grocery shopping, driving to work, working, homeschool co-op meetings, soccer/activities for the kids, etc. It was a long list, but I made it. After the list was made, it was time to take a hard look at what I can and cannot do and start cutting activities/tasks so I can breathe a little easier.

I couldn’t ask my husband to do more because he was officially bringing in the best income we’d ever seen and for the first time in his life, he was loving what he was doing. For the first 7 years of our relationship together, he took on extra in the house and with the kids so that I could focus on my career and that, I did. He was so incredibly supportive of me and I just knew this was my time to return the favor.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t let go of anything on my list. I wasn’t willing to stop gardening or preserving food because that’s how I take care of my family’s health and my own soul. I wasn’t willing to let go of the board because I knew my town needed me and I SURE wasn’t willing to let go of homeschooling because I knew in the depths of my soul that it was the best choice for my son and his education.

However, when I read the lines related to work (working and driving to and from work because we live 40 miles away from my work), I wasn’t able to find a reason to NOT cut it.

I was no longer as passionate about my career as I used to be. I wasn’t holding onto NEEDING that to feel fulfilled. I felt fulfilled by my children and my garden and the peace I’d cultivated in my home. That’s what I was unwilling to get rid of.

So, I took to excel. No because that’s normal, but because I’m a super nerd and I keep essentially a year in advance of my check register for expected income/expenses alongside my budget and things. Anywho, I looked at this excel sheet and made a mock of what we would live like without my income. We had some debt to pay off before it was possible, but eventually I came to the conclusion that I could quit my job at the end of the following March and we would be just fine as long as in those 8 months, we took a big swing at our debt and paid off everything we could.

So we did.

30 thousand dollars in debt payoffs, lots of crying and praying for the strength to get through, and some serious sacrifices later… I’ve officially left my job. 4 weeks early due to some pregnancy complications, but still. Relatively close to the plan.

The culture shock is real. It’s been officially one full week and I feel like I’m gathering a routine, but I also feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m hoping for an epiphany one day that just makes everything click, but I don’t know that it ever will.

Fact of the matter is, I was raised to believe that being a stay-at-home mom was the worst thing I could be. Like it wasn’t an achievement or appropriate aspiration. It was a shameful thing to rely on a man financially. I understand why these things were told to me at the time, but how true was this?

Obviously I don’t believe that it’s the worst thing or shameful because I’m doing it, but these ideas still float around in my head because they were so heavily enforced as a kid. One day I hope they’ll go away, but at least I know what not to teach my daughter.

If you are a homemaker or are preparing to become a homemaker, I believe in you and you’ve GOT this. Last week was the best week of my life. Even with all the anxiety and the negative thoughts peaking around, I felt free and I felt like I was doing what was most important. For that, I could never be happier.

The greatest thank you to my husband for supporting our family and allowing this to be possible. We worked our tails off and finally made it happen. I’m proud of us and I’m proud of you.